I wrote a book several years ago titled "101 Freedom Exercises: A Christian Guide for Sexual Addiction Recovery." In it I outlined several exercises to help men get free and stay free from lust. The following is a summarization of some of these exercises, as well as a few more I have learned along the way.

1. Pray for them.

I personally have used this one successfully for years. When a person becomes an object of lust for you, you can turn her back into a person by giving her a relational context to God and others in prayer. Here is a sample prayer:

"God, I know You love this woman, that You died for her and that You desire a relationship with her. I pray that if she doesn't know You, You will reveal Yourself to her so she can know You for eternity. I pray that her husband (or future husband) will be a man of God, full of Your Spirit and wisdom. I pray that her children (or future children) will know and serve You all their days. I pray that You would encourage her parents and bless their daughter. Amen."

Now how many women do you think the enemy is going to present to you to lust after if all you do is pray them into the kingdom? Early on the self-defense arts teach you how to block a punch that is thrown at you. When the enemy throws you a temptation, you can block it by praying--and you will walk away feeling successful instead of guilty.

2. Look them in the eyes.

If you lust after a woman below the neck or waist, then keep your eyes above the neck so they don't travel over her body scanning her. If you start to lust after women when you gaze into their eyes, avoid their eyes as well.

Follow the one-to-three-second rule.

In sex addiction recovery, there is a three-second policy: Don't look at a woman longer than three seconds. Living today in the high-speed television and computer age, men can learn to scan a woman in less time than that. Regardless, keep your gaze very short. And remember, you aren't under any obligation to check out each woman that walks by.

3. Establish accountability.

I find that if a man walks in the light in the area of lust, he is less likely to struggle. That means exposing the hidden aspect of your internal sexuality involved in lust.

James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." It's great to confess your sin of lust to Jesus, for He will always forgive you (1 John 1:9). But most of us who struggle with lust don't need only forgiveness; we need healing. The Scriptures clearly state that healing comes when we humble ourselves to one another, confessing our sin and praying for each other.

Don't wimp out and try to do this with your wife only. Something powerful happens when you humble yourself to another man. I purposely say "man." Man to man, be honest with a brother in the Lord, and you will see lust decrease tremendously. Having an accountability partner like this can help you eliminate the seed of lust that would otherwise bring a future harvest of sin and death. Accountability works! (See Ecclesiastes 4:10.)

4. Keep a log.

Some men in an accountability relationship keep a log. This is simply a piece of paper you keep in your pocket. Each time you lust or objectify a woman, put a mark on the paper. Check in daily for one hundred days with your accountability partner as to how you are doing.

Some competitive friends even make the man with the highest score pay for the lunch of the low-scoring man each week. You'll be amazed at how quickly you can stop lusting when there is free food on the line!

If you are still doubtful, it may be that you do not understand that lust is a learned, intentional behavior. Because that is true, it is possible to unlearn lust and choose not to allow it. Filling your mind with the divine power of God's Word is one of the greatest weapons to use to overcome lust. Here are a few of my favorite weapons:

*Put to death [or mortify], therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires. Colossians 3:5

*So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Galatians 5:16

*Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

*Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power. 1 Peter 1:3-5

5. Kill it!

Well, how exactly do you put to death your earthly nature? Ted Haggard, my pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, has a great way of explaining how he kills himself every morning. He gets in the prayer closet and asks God to strangle anything of his flesh, to destroy any sin patterns today. He asks God to fill him with the fruit of the Spirit, the fear of the Lord and the power and might described in Isaiah chapter 11. I think it's a great idea. I do this regularly, too.

From our discussion, I think you get the picture that God is concerned about both sides of our sexuality: our external sexual behavior and our internal sexual beliefs. It is God's desire for every Christian man to have sexual success. And it is my desire for you as well. I enjoy being made in God's image, which includes my sexuality. I want to honor God with all of myself, and I know you do, too.

In order to achieve that, as we continue our journey, we are going to explore the territory of this divine gift called male sexuality. The Journey's terrain will change with every chapter. When you complete the journey, however, I think you will be able to personally connect with the integration of sex, men and God for your personal sexual success. You will understand how these three--sex, men and God--can live together in unity and harmony, giving you the ability to become a powerful man of God who will impact your generation as well as those who follow you.

Pt I. - Why haven't men experienced sexual success?
Pt II. - God is against us hurting ourselves by misusing the gift of sexuality.
Pt III. - Five things you need to know if you want to get free--and stay free--from lust.